So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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