either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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