I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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