so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
