New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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