Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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