Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
