You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Randomize
