I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I stole a fireplace last night.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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