first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
