I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
She told me I should be a condom model.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
