idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
