Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
