therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Randomize
