it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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