Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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