yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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