So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
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