Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
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