Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
