I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
