textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
how drunk are you?
Several
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
