Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
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