the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
You're like the curious george of whores
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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