what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
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