I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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