nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
