Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
