If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Randomize
