I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Randomize
