Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Randomize
