stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Randomize
