im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Randomize
