Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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