i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
