I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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