I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I can't put those talents on a resume
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Randomize
