Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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