the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
