Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Randomize
