I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
