dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
