I faked an abortion last night.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Randomize
