question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
pop tarts are not kleenex
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
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