True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
