no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
