You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
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