If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Randomize
