I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
