i would punch a child for taco bell
I should be sponsored by Trojan
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
