Christians are straight up FREAKS
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
