what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
