IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
