Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
