I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
wow bdsm is so cute
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
