well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
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